Lessons from Tucker

Waiting can be lame at times, especially when we don’t know what we are waiting for. Tucker, my dog, recently fell out of the bed and injured her leg.  She’s been limping for a couple of weeks and I took her to the vet.

The veterinarian prescribed minimal activity for Tucker, which is crazy and sad for an energetic dog like her. But, doctor’s orders. So now, we rest. And she hates it. It makes me so sad to see her laying on her bed bored out of her mind. She can’t see the end. I can’t communicate to her, this will only be for a short time. When you heal, walks galore! frisbee! play time!

So, we wait. And we rest. And she is depressed. I want to do the wrong thing and let her be as active as normal… just to see her happy. But that wouldn’t be wise on my part as her care taker.

Waiting in our lives can be just as depressing and confusing. But, God has a plan and He knows what He’s doing. And sometimes, He doesn’t give us all the answers because it wouldn’t be best.

If there is something that you want and you can’t stop thinking about it, here is a great exercise to help you wait faithfully for the Lord and His timing:

*Write down what it is you’re obsessively thinking about.
Ask God to remove it.
Ask for forgiveness.
Ask, what’s the root cause of this issue?
Keep asking these questions until you receive peace.
God will reveal it when it’s time.
It’s important to trust God with our desires and find areas where we are not believing in His goodness.

If we go to God and surrender our lives to Him, waiting can be a time of peaceful trust in the Lord. It can be a time to draw near to God and watch Him provide in ways you could not have anticipated.

 

 

*These exercises have been given to me by my counselor, Renee, who has helped me work through many of my life issues.

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What is Codependency?

 

What is codependency?

If I’m going to be writing a blog on codependency, it’s probably a good idea to define it for you. This is actually a difficult concept to define because it is so broad. Codependency, in one sense, is old school idolatry. It’s looking to anything or anyone besides God to provide you with everything you need to feel valued and safe.

The other side of codependency, is since other people and things cannot provide 100% of our needs, in fact, people often damage us rather than protect, we develop coping mechanisms to get us through our fears, insecurities, and life difficulties. This can play out through how we do relationships, how we eat/take care of ourselves, and how we view reality.

In Pia Mellody’s book, Facing Codependency, signs of a codependent are having difficulty in:

  1. Experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem
  2. Setting functional boundaries
  3. Owning and expressing their own reality
  4. Taking care of their adult needs and wants
  5. Experiencing and expressing their reality moderately (Mellody, pg. 4)

I have personally experienced each of these symptoms and began the process last year of overcoming these life obstacles. It’s been one of the best ventures I’ve taken in life. It’s hard to face the unpleasant (and sometimes tragic) parts of our life, but I guarantee you it’s worth it. Face your fears and your pain. Be honest with yourself and grow because of it. You’ll begin to see the broken ways you are handling life.

It can be painful, but! It is not until we discover these coping mechanisms and surrender our damaged selves to the Lord, that we can truly experience freedom from the pain of our past and how that translates into our present situations.

So, welcome to my blog. Where I will share with you my own journey to functioning healthily and in full surrender to God. Happy processing!

1. Mellody, Pia, Andrea Wells. Miller, and Keith Miller. Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes From, How It Sabotages Our Lives. San Francisco: Perennial Library, 1989. Print.