What’s Your Interest?

Hello everyone!

I wanted to thank those who have decided to follow my blog. It’s encouraging to see others interested in codependency and my take on it. We’ve got a small band of followers on here, which is great, because we can interact easily together.

I’m curious to hear from y’all. Is there any part of codependency that you’re interested in? Is there a topic I haven’t covered that you’re wondering about? What is your struggle that you’d like to get more of a handle on?

Let me know and I’ll get to researching and writing! Those are my favorite things. 😀

You can comment below or e-mail me at writemegbutler@gmail.com.

I look forward to hearing from y’all and am so glad we get to work through this codependency together.

Also, what do y’all think about the picture of a wadded up blanket I took? So random, but I thought it was beautiful for some reason.



I Was Scathed By Harvey

Correction from my last post, I was indeed scathed by Harvey… but not in the way I was expecting. It goes like this:

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Bumper to bumper, compiled madness of every working man and woman in Houston trying to get to work and home on the same freeway and spare back roads. Lord, help us. If you’ve read my posts about working in corporate, you already know it’s a struggle for me… but now with a commute that has been doubled and, may I say it, tripled since Harvey… I’m scathed. I’m so scathed.

Yesterday, after two hours of braking and nowhere near my home, I broke down. It was tragic. And I had plenty of witnesses since all of us are so packed in and driving transparent fish bowls. People could see the tears in high def… and it wasn’t a pretty sight. I lost it.

Why? Because of everything I was losing.

I had already spent an hour driving to work, nine hours working, and now two hours driving… and getting nowhere. That’s TWELVE HOURS. I ain’t a nurse! I don’t do 12 hours shifts away from home if I can help it. It’s already difficult being away from home the regular 55 hours of a work week (yes, I include commute and lunch).

Here’s my list of losses:
Time with Tucker
Time with my roommates
Time to make dinner
Time to just relax and think about what I wanted to do with my evening

Bottom line: I lost time.

That does not feel good. Ever. I was out of control of my circumstances and couldn’t get over the injustice of personal loss. Who could I blame? My bosses for not adjusting work hours the next couple of weeks? Other drivers for making poor traffic decisions? Harvey??

Shifting blame around is pointless. It doesn’t help anything. It definitely doesn’t help my traffic situation. There are several things that need to occur for my mulligan trip home this afternoon.

  1. Surrender the moment. When I come into a situation with expectations, I set myself up for inner conflict. God is sovereign and in control. He has different plans than me for my day. He knows exactly how the day is going to go and His will trumps mine – and that’s a good thing! When life goes a direction I don’t expect (good or bad), I need to surrender it to God and see what He has in store for the time. Let. Go.
  2. Trust God. You want to know crazy? Here it is: my mind and heart were desperate to get home so I could see my dog. I am an obsessive parent. It’s true. I have no idea what I will be like as a mother to a child (if I ever experience that). I mean, I’m going to need to continue seeing my counselor and probably more frequently once I have children.Stuck in traffic, I was so sad that my time with Tucker was being taken by such a miserable alternative. Plus, I needed to feed her dinner, take her on a walk, and just play around. However, what have I learned before? She is best in God’s hands. He can do more for her than I can. So, this time around, I must trust God and know that He has everything taken care of.
  3. Redeem the time. I am a strong believer in spiritual warfare and I do not doubt that Satan wants to get the most evil out of Harvey as he can. And, you know what, I think he’s disappointed. The city, state, and nation have come together to help each other out. There is unity and light in the darkness.Now, he’s coming at us via intense traffic and loss. Well, not today, Satan! The time will be redeemed! My friend and I are resolved that we will stand firm against attack. Two and a half hours of traffic hell can turn into a two and a half hour praise session with God. It can be prayer. It can be working through our character defects as they arise. Instead of defeat, we will get stronger in Christ. We will draw near to God. Our mission is not to be “on time”, but to glorify God at all times.
  4. Don’t play the victim. Once I arrive home (whenever that may be), my goal is to enjoy the time I’ve been given. Even though my time at home may be condensed, I can enjoy it to the fullest. I’m only hurting myself if I come home and sulk the rest of the night due to my misfortunes.My plan is to look at the next couple of weeks realistically. Are there extra things I’m doing outside of work that can be postponed for a bit? How am I planning on taking care of myself in the midst of high stress circumstances? Where is God directing me in all of this?

All of the above is what I have learned so far. I plan on stumbling imperfectly into these lessons and seeing what beneficial habits come from this experience.



Equal in Value – Lessons from Harvey

During the worst of Harvey, I was safely stuck at home watching the storm pass by. For reasons unknown, I went completely unscathed by the storm. The water levels rose too close for comfort towards my house, but never made it in. When the storm passed, I was able to sit on my back patio and witness the rain clouds part to reveal a beautiful, blue sky.

While I had a mild Harvey experience, what pains me is seeing all the tragedy happening around me. Every day I turn on the news, I hear another story of a person’s recap of their loss because of Harvey. They are going through the heartbreak of losing everything but their lives. People are being housed in shelters, sitting in an open space figuring out how to pick up the pieces of their lives. Others are assessing the damage of their homes that sat for days in 6-7 feet of water.

Through all this, there was almost 24/7 footage of rescues happening. As tragic as the circumstances were, I think it brought a lot of hope and encouragement to Houston as we watched selfless people using their time and resources to help those in need.

Tragedies bring humanity to a basic fact: People are valuable. They are worth saving. We, as people, did not create this philosophy, it was born in us. Genesis 5:1-2 says we were made in the image of God. That means we did not create a god that fits our characteristics. We are living copies of the real God who created us.

If you are questioning your value, take heart. What viewers witnessed on the news during Harvey is a confirmation that we inherently believe human life is to be preserved, protected, and treasured. That includes you.

So, when in doubt about your value, ask God. Ask Him for whatever you need! Try bringing this exercise into practice: when you have lack, ask God to provide in whatever way He chooses.

It’s easy to place expectations on God by believing you know how He should answer your prayers. Let go of the expectations and anticipate the creativity of His response. Do you believe you are valuable and worth saving? If not, ask God to show you that you are valuable. Look forward to His answer!